Welcome to a new blog series here on Paws to Talk where we discuss life issues that often accompany being a dog parent.
As of January 1st, I officially jumped back into the dating pool after a bit of a hiatus.
Around the time I started this blog in February 2012, I was also in triage after having my heart broken into many pieces due to the end of my long-term relationship and engagement. Not only was my heart shattered but so was my trust as years of lies told to me by my ex began to surface.
Needless to say it was hard to date anyone for a while after that horror show.
Along with family and friends, my dogs brought me through the anger, depression and sadness. When the tears wouldn’t stop flowing, Bella, DiDi and Toby were here licking them away. If I spent too long lingering in bed feeling down, they would get me up to play fetch.
So, I am back on the scene and testing the waters. However, so far it has been difficult to find someone who has the personal traits I am looking for and a passion for dogs. How could I be in a relationship with someone who can’t see how amazing my three furry lifesavers are?
As I started to become afraid and consider writing dates off, the less emotional and more prudent part of my brain came up with these tips:
You Don’t Have to Settle
If it isn’t working with someone who has lukewarm feelings about your dog then keep the relationship search open. Keep putting yourself out there until you find what you want.
Give It a Chance
Just because he or she doesn’t read Dogster or write their own dog blog doesn’t mean they can’t love you and your dog. It may take time for a potential mate to see how special your bond is with the dog.
Two-Leggeds Can Be Trusted
We all know that dogs never lie to us and love us unconditionally. Humans are capable of the same things. It is easy to hide behind our dogs. Trust me, I have done it. However, if we develop a trust with the right human then the dogs can be a part of this new, happy and safe environment.
-Margot (Bella, DiDi and Toby’s Human)
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Past experiences make us wiser, but they can also make us closed to trying something new…I know this from personal experience and now prefer to live happily with my two dogs and Siamese….thank you for sharing your good ideas. Julia
Julia,
You make a wonderful point. The past can be a double edge sword. Thankfully, I have furry poodle reminders that help me stay present. Thanks for the comment.
Margot
I was a dedicated cat-owner when I met my husband. I love all animals, but that’s what worked best in my apartment. After we married, he wanted a dog and my love affair with dogs was launched! Now we have dogs, cats, and parrots. Don’t write off someone who doesn’t have a dog, but loves animals. You and your poodles could be just what he needs!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! It gives me hope.
If I were dating someone who did not like dogs or my dog or animals in general I would drop them, there is no room for that, I am passionate about dogs and all animals for that matter, you cannot be a good human being and not love dogs in particular no way it the world, from my side it would asta la vista baby dont come back, you go my dog stays forever
Animals are fabulous judges of character.
Also human beings, that don’t like animals or treat them cruelly, usually move those same traits into their personal relationships.
Personally, I prefer being happy and single with my pets, than compromising my independence on anything less than the very best.
If it’s hard to find a man that loves your dogs, then try having a dog, a cat, guinea pigs and five chickens!
And the garden is high on my list of “must loves” too!
Then again perhaps “appreciate” is a more realistic term than “love”.
If we feel unappreciated or taken for granted in a relationship, then things usually plummet pretty quickly.
Animals make it very clear we are valued by them. Human mates could take a lesson from that!
Someone that appreciates your pets importance in your life is vital!
People also tend to forget, you can sometimes be way lonlier and more isolated within a bad human relationship, than you ever are when you rely on your own resources.
If it feels right, then it probably is; if not, then run!
Life for us humans would probably be way easier if we determined our relationships with our fellow species as simply as our dogs connect with each other.
Great comment and advice Fiona! Thank you!